What is the first image that comes to mind when you hear the word ‘invest’?

I see a few images. The first is a small green plant in a pot – because that is usually the image that appears in articles about investing. The image is meant to convey the thought that the same attention that is given to a plant to make it grow slowly but well over time is the same that is required for growing your money.

 The image that usually follows is that of money, of course.

Yes, the time, attention, and dare I say, love, that one invests in any project consistently and sustainably over time leads eventually to fruitful outcomes – a tree, retirement funds, strong relationships, and yes, actual fruit too.

 I’m going to be talking about one of these things – relationships. I’ve seen the same plant image being used for this as well.

 As a father, husband, colleague, and person in society, I’m reminded of the need to invest in each of my relationships constantly – especially my family. The reminders are all around us, all the time, calling out to us. But are we listening?

 Oftentimes, I hear from my wife and my elder son, “I wish you would spend more time with me… with us.” And all too often when they say this, I am being hectically busy in my own thoughts, hardly paying heed to what they are saying. Slowly, over time, the reminders get fewer… and fewer. And the voices around us get softer.

 “Daddy, read me a story,” my son used to say to me. And I did. Several times over the years. Then I got busier. I knew my time was running out. Eventually, he learnt to read himself. I didn’t need to sit and read to him anymore. I still try to do so, but he sits on my lap and reads along with me, pointing out things I may have missed. It’s cute, but I feel a bit wistful that he can now read without me. The fact that he’s still sitting on my lap and reading along with me tells me that he just wants my company. And my wife sits patiently waiting for her turn… she has so many things to tell me at the end of my day. But I’m just too tired. My attention wanders even as she is speaking. Until I realize she has moved on to get our dinner. We eat in silence.

 Relationships need time… quality time. Not that we will ever have enough of it. That’s why the quality is needed, to ensure that the limited time you get with the ones you love is worth it… is reaping the returns. Why are so many relationships burning up over time? Because either they were too heated at first that they consumed one another and the fire was not sustained, leaving only cold behind. Or they were not given enough fuel over time that the fire slowly got more lukewarm over the years and eventually died out.

 The Bible also talks about “losing our first love”, in the book of Revelation. This happened to at least two churches – Ephesus and Laodicia. Jesus has messages for both these churches, through the Apostle John. In the case of Ephesus, He laments that they had lost their first love. The initial fire that they first had for the Lord was just not there anymore. Their love was in danger of dying out. The church of Laodicia had a different problem altogether. They were neither hot nor cold, but a steady lukewarm all the time. History records that they were a fairly successful congregation. They were known for their wealth and self-sufficiency, which led to pride. They had the outward appearance of a successful church… but they were lukewarm inside… of no use to Christ.

 Jesus also invested in His relationships. He had twelve disciples. He lived, walked, and talked with them. He broke bread with them. He told them stories. And even when He retired to be away from the crowds, He spent time in His Father’s presence. Jesus did nothing away from God’s presence, and He was always talking to His Father and receiving comfort and counsel from Him. So much so, on the cross when the sins of the world were laid upon Him and God turned His face away from Jesus, it was too much for Jesus to bear.

 God wants us to spend time in His presence and invest time… quality time… in our relationship with Him. He also wants us to invest in our human relationships. That’s what He made us for.

 We’ve all heard so many stories of people who have not invested in their relationships especially in the early stages when the fire is hotter. The early stage is the time to “fan the flames”. Not when the fire is dying out… it always is more difficult then. Spouses who have not spent time with one another when they had to because they were too “busy” making money for their family, even while their family actually wanted and needed more of them, eventually regret later when the relationship dies. We often forget that we are working hard to make money for our family, not despite them. It’s like a cycle. We make more money so that our family benefits. Our family benefits when we make more money. I’m not saying one or the other can be discounted. But what will you with all that money without a relationship?

 Or consider parents who didn’t have time to play or spend time with their children when they were young, brushing them aside because the parents were too busy with their work. And then wondering why their children had little time for them when they were much older.

 I remember once deciding to take a day’s leave just to spend time playing with my son. I dedicated the day to him. We spent the whole day just playing different games, some of which we created. I’ll never forget what he told me at the end of the day: “Thank you, Dada, for spending time with me today.” He was only around 5 or 6 years. But he noticed. Our loved ones notice.

 May we all take the time to invest more in our relationships.